An incredibly confused, most likely pansexual, possibly aromantic teenage girl.

Okay, so I will begin with the most obvious question, "am I aromantic?"

The answer is, who knows? But the idea of "aromantic" is not something I'm totally familiar with. So any advice will be greatly appreciated.

I'm a pansexual (I think), cisgendered, nearly sixteen-year-old-girl. I have a troubled past, involving abandonment, insecurity, and fear and anxiety. I'm not necessarily introverted but I do have troubles talking about personal issues with friends and consider myself to be emotionally reserved, yet I am a hyperactive misfit (ADHD and all) who is generally happy and loud and talkative and not very serious, but at home struggling with Depression, Anxiety and other ongoing issues. Both of these sides of me are who I am 100%, but I do tend to try and "bottle things up" and keep things to myself and will avoid showing any kind of vulnerability at all costs.

However, it has come to my attention lately that I don't want a relationship. I can not recall having ever harbored a crush on anybody. I have found myself once or twice possibly getting butterflies when I talk to them and finding myself possibly interested but I always end up cutting myself off from them. I now wonder if I enjoyed the attention more than the actual aspect on whatever could have evolved further. The idea of a relationship just really doesn't sit right with me, I don't know what it is but it makes me squirmy and uncomfortable, I almost feel queasy and anxious over it. The idea of wanting to constantly be around somebody, and to be talking to them, and sharing everything with them is not something that appeals to me at all. I think I could handle an exclusive physical yet casual relationship with somebody but even then I'm really not sure.

I am just honestly so confused, I can't decide if this has got to do with my age, or my insecurities and fears regarding people and my mental health, or if this is just really who I am.

Am I aromantic? I really don't know. I'm so confused.

Sorry to respond so late but I guess this forum's kinda dry.

I definitely know how you feel I was personally really confused about my romantic orientation for a while. I more or less settled on aromantic a couple years ago. I think the biggest help was being told that it was ok if I changed or experimented with my romantic orientation. If you realize later that maybe a different label is more accurate that's alright. Trying to pick the most accurate term is pretty stressful in my experience.

In terms of whether you're aro or not I wouldn't really know. It's pretty individual but if you feel like you don't experience romantic attraction or you don't know what romantic attraction would feel like or even if the idea of a romantic relationship doesn't seem appealing then aromantic might be a good label for yourself.